


like the sun

by 1hoseok



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:19:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3775258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1hoseok/pseuds/1hoseok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patroclus loves Achilles and its obvious to everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like the sun

**Author's Note:**

> this for my bro jordan, they were there for me when i decided to write this  
> this one is for the homie  
> the smutty bit is unedited so sorry if i repeat words

It was night. Achilles could feel Patroclus’ fingers tracing the line of his lips; his breath brushing his mouth with every exhale.

He loved these nights. A war waged on and still he had this man beside him who loved him regardless.

They were in the seventh year of the war, many a birthday had passed and Achilles wished they hadn’t gone so quickly, wished he had had time to celebrate with Patroclus. He whispered this into the skin of the man laying beside him.

“I do not mind it, I love the time we spend like this. I like the feel of your skin against my own.” Patroclus kept his eyes closed as he said this, a small smile forming.

Achilles felt his heart flutter as Patroclus kissed his chest and ran his fingers over the curve of his abdomen.

“Aye, I miss your touch out there. I feel the way you look at me when I return from battle. I do not wish for you to fear for me.”

“I fear for you. I fear you will see Hector and yet Odysseus tells me you have avoided him everyday. Even then that does little to settle me.” Patroclus sat up and angled his body away from Achilles, fearing he would see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“I would do anything to stop you from worrying so.” Achilles rested a hand upon Patroclus’ shoulder.

“I wish that we had never come. But I would never keep you from this. From what you were destined to do. I love you but, I feel it will be what kills me.”

Achilles rose from their bed and kneeled before Patroclus.

“I do not wish for you to shed tears on my behalf. I will fight until it is my day to fight no more.” Achilles touched his fingertips to Patroclus’ lower and lip and fixed his blue eyes on the tears running down his lover’s face.

“I do not want you to hurt.” Achilles whispered.

“And yet you do such things as this, you hurt me everyday you do not heed my warnings. And you lie to me. Do you still love me? Am I enough for you?” Patroclus felt his voice crack as he looked into blue. Achilles closed his eyes before standing.

“I love you. More than any woman I have ever lain with. I come back to you every night and still it is not enough for you.” Achilles paced quickly across the tent, throwing a chiton over his shoulders.

“You are upset with me for simply saying how I feel? This is not fair, Achilles.” Patroclus sat up with a small frown.

Achilles stopped before he exited the tent. He stared at his hands and listened to the sea before turning back to Patroclus.

“I must see my mother. In due time I shall perish and I want to ensure that you are safe when I am gone.”

“She has already denied me, Achilles. I don’t care for me, I care for you.” Patroclus let the blanket roll off of him, exposing himself to the temperate night air.

“That is why I must do this. If you don’t care for yourself who else shall care for you?”

Patroclus looked away from the tent opening to blink away tears. He knew that if Achilles wasn’t the death of him he would surely be the death of Achilles.

* * *

Days like this were a favorite to Patroclus. The evening was full of laughter and women danced as men clapped along. Briseis was twirling in the evening sun and it was in that moment Patroclus wished he could have fallen in love with her.   
But as soon as Achilles twirled around with a thin blonde girl curled under his arm and a dark haired toddler babbling happily upon his shoulders.   
  
He didn't shy away from the smile Achilles threw at him over his shoulder.   
  
"He doesn't hide his love for you. That could be what shames him." Odysseus appeared beside Patroclus, face worn and browned from battle and a relentless sun.   
  
"Aye." Patroclus hated talks with him,  he always felt as though he himself was the punchline to an untold joke.

"I tell him when we set off in the mornings, to disregard all feelings for you once we begin. Yet he doesn't wish for Hector's death. I wish to be home with my wife as well. I know he doesn't for you. But I fear that may be what drags this war on. What keeps these men here from their wives and children." Odysseus stared at the fire as he spoke,  eyes distant and pained.   
  


"You wish to be with your wife. I know this. I wish to see Achilles live another day and he wishes to love me a while longer."

"You risk the lives of many men for the life of one."

"Aye."

“This love you hold for one another could be the death of both of you.” Odysseus rose to his feet and stared down at Patroclus with sadness.

“I know it shall be the death of me in the end, I fear.” Patroclus didn’t look the warrior in the eyes; he did not do well with receiving piteous gazes.

Odysseus left with heavy feet and a dark scowl shrouding his face.

Achilles passed Patroclus with another drunken grin and a new large breasted woman tucked beneath his arm. A child was latched to his leg as he swayed dangerously from side to side.

“He he loves you unabashedly." Bresis said with a teasing smile.

"I am not ashamed."

"I never said to be. Just not so carelessly."

She was gone when Patroclus looked up.

* * *

Patroclus was laying against Achilles' side on a hot night in the eleventh year of the Trojan war.

Achilles stroked his thick fingers through Patroclus' curls splayed wildly across his wide chest.

"I have a feeling that tomorrow with be the day Agamemnon breaks and gifts us Bresis once again." Achilles who softly.

Patroclus felt his chest ache at the thought of Bresis not being there day after day. He had no distraction these days, he only had Achilles whose head had bloated with the thoughts of heroism and thick headed pride.

“I hope something happens to make both of you see.” Patroclus said as he rolled away from Achilles’ touch.

“Make us see? You mean make him see? I am only here for you. I do not care about him.”

“You are not here for me, you are here for pride and glory. I am simply here as a consolation prize.”

“You are not a gift to be received. I love you, Patroclus and yet this isn’t enough for you to stand by my side.” Achilles grew angry and Patroclus swore he could feel the heat of it rolling off of him in waves.

“I cannot stand beside you if it only ends in the deaths of the innocent.” Patroclus didn’t turn over when he heard Achilles sharp intake of breath.

“My mother, she said you’d be the death of me.”

“I am aware that everyone says that. We shall be the fall of one another, in the end. I wouldn’t mind that. I just don’t want to take all these people with us.” Patroclus felt a hand smooth down his back. He turned over and was startled by the blue of Achilles’ eyes, even after so long the man’s beauty astounded him.

“You love me then.”

“How could I not.” Achilles leaned forward and rested his head against Patroclus. His eyes closed and eyelashes brushing against Patroclus’ head gently.

“I am aware that you are wary of me. Of the way I’ve been acting towards you and how I act as though I do not care, but I do. I do. But the only person’s well being I care for is yours.” Achilles kissed Patroclus’ eyelid before he settled his body against Patroclus and they listened to waves and were lulled to sleep.

* * *

The days drag on and Achilles stood firmly in his decision and Patroclus grew more angry and tired with each day. Agamemnon does not let up and Patroclus is forced to sneak into the tent where he knows Bresis stays and they whisper cautiously and with sparkling eyes they take in one another's appearance, it seems to change with each passing day, her skin becoming dull with worry and Patroclus become pale with stress and inability to sleep.

It was on a night that had grey clouds overhead and soft rain pelting the sand that Patroclus told Bresis that he couldn’t take it any longer. That Achilles was being pig headed and Agamemnon was angering him with his threats to Bresis and lingering stares when meetings were called.

“His mother has convinced him he is to not to be denied of anything. He thinks he is a God but everyone but him knows he is mortal.” Bresis said as she braided the thick curls across Patroclus’ head.

“Yes, she does fill his head with such things. He comes back from their meeting with different tread and a happy smile and I love these things about him but I know they are the worst.” Patroclus sighed.

“I think you should confront him again. Tell him how it makes you feel when he spews such ignorant and arrogant things.” Bresis whispered quickly and Patroclus slid beneath her bed as he heard the approaching steps of a guard.

“The king has said he wishes to visit with you this night.” a guard said nervously.

“Soon. Can I have some time?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I must go.” Patroclus rose from beneath the bed and bid farewell to Bresis she nodded and curled herself up beneath her furs.

“He will not touch you. If he does, I shall kill him myself.” Patroclus left swiftly and quickly into the night.

____________

“You have been gone long. Where have you run off to?” Achilles was lounged beside their bed. Blond hair damp with rain and perspiration.

"I saw Briseis. She fears one day Agamemnon will care not of our agreement and shall carry the punishment on to her." Patroclus stood rigidly as Achilles huffed out a breath of defiance.

"He may very well." Achilles picked up a kylix full of stolen wine and took a long swig.

"She is my closest friend, Achilles. Does my happiness not matter if it doesn't involve you?" Patroclus yanked the cup from his hand and shoved roughly at Achilles.

"Patroclus please. Don't be upset. She was trying to take you from me. She said I do not deserve you."

"She wants to have my children. And I believe I should. Being with her would be much more fulfilling than it ever was with you." Patroclus knew he didn't mean it. He knew that he was lying to simply get a rise out of Achilles and how it did.

Achilles skin seemed to burn brighter and hair glinted angrily in the dull lamp lightened tent.

"These things are said to fool me." Achilles said to him with a huff in his chest.

"It has worked in my favor before has it not?" Patroclus felt the air knocked from his body as Achilles pushed him to the ground.

"You are upset with me?" Achilles whispered so close to Patroclus' mouth that their breaths mingled.

"I believe you are the one who is on top of me."

Achilles  grinned devilishly as he dipped down and sucked a dark mark into the exposed skin of Patroclus' neck.

Patroclus groaned deeply and arched his back into Achilles' lips. He grasped at Achilles' back in vain, hands sliding down his sweat slick back.

"You always smell so sweet. Right here especially." Achilles hands traveled down to Patroclus' slim waist and gripped tightly to keep his body still as he bit roughly into the pec that was exposed as Patroclus lay on the ground of the tent.

"How do you want me tonight? Do you wish for me to be on top? Or do you want me beneath you tonight? Like the night in Chiron's cave."

Patroclus moaned softly as he thought of Achilles using his body for pleasure as he sat and waited until Achilles allowed him to come inside of him. Like the time in Chiron's cave when Achilles held him closely and would not let Patroclus release until he himself got his fair share of pleasure. It seemed odd to him at first. He'd told Briseis of it in the beginning and she told him it was okay as long as he enjoyed it as well. And Patroclus more than enjoyed it.

"Please Achilles. I want to be inside you." Patroclus jerked suddenly at the feeling of fingers being wrapped around his twitching cock.

"I need to have you inside me as well, open me for you." Achilles stood then leaving Patroclus on the ground with a gaping robe and flushed cheeks.

Achilles lounged across their bed on his stomach, when he felt Patroclus approach, he scooted his knees forward so his firm backside was thrusted high into the air.

"You wound me, Achilles." Patroclus chuckled.

Achilles hummed in agreement before he feels a body draped over him. Patroclus presses soft kisses to the warriors body. Achilles letting out tiny puffs of air when Patroclus let his nail graze his hardened nipples.

"Now you are the one who teases." Achilles shuddered bodily against Patroclus' body, his nerves on fire as Patroclus teased and licked him wherever he could linger his touch.

He let his fingers trail slowly beneath the robes Achilles wore. He stroked over Achilles cock and down below to press against his taint. Achilles groaned loudly and bucked his body against Patroclus' palm.

Patroclus whimpered at the sight of Achilles, with his back arched devastatingly and his golden head spread everywhere across the pillow.

He trailed his fingers down Achilles back until they met his puckered entrance. Achilles exhaled heavily and shoved a hand under his body to stroke at his hard cock.

"Don't touch." Patroclus surprised himself with the command, he rarely ever took charge.

Achilles gasped and let out a small moan. He moved his hands back to where they were resting underneath his head.

Patroclus reached around to grab at the small bottle of olive oil they kept beneath the furs on their bed.

He dipped his finger and rubbed the tips together to warm them up before he leaned in and breathed against Achilles' exposed hole.

Achilles shuddered bodily and pushed back against Patroclus' face.

Patroclus smoothed the tip of his finger over Achilles and pushed in slowly with his middle finger. He curled it up against Achilles' spot, causing the man beneath him to shiver in ecstasy.

"No need for more. Come now." Achilles rolled onto his back and pulled Patroclus into a kiss that was much more chaste than he expected.

He was pushed onto his back and Achilles climbed on top of him, his muscled thighs gripping him tightly.

Swift hands slicked up his thick cock with the oil and he soon felt a tight heat enveloping him.  

"Gods, Achilles." Patroclus' eyes fluttered shut.

Achilles lowered himself slowly and let out a loud breath. His brows furrowed as his hips settled onto Patroclus' pelvis.

Patroclus reached up and ran a hand across Achilles torso, tweaking his nipple as it felt the curves of his lover's body.

"It's been too long since I've felt you." Achilles' voice turned hollow as he rocked at devastatingly slow pace, feeling all of Patroclus that he could.

Patroclus didn't respond. He clinched his eyes shut and tried not to buck up into the tight heat surrounding him.

It was moments later that Achilles finally pinched Patroclus on his arm and leaned forward, Patroclus' cock sliding from his body.

"This is what you wanted, is it not? To take me like this?" Achilles said, eyes glittering and hazy.

Patroclus shifted his body until his feet were placed flat on the surface of their bedding and thrust up into Achilles.

Achilles whined and fell forward, his body covering Patroclus.

"This is it. How I want to see you like this, unable to move and only able to take me." Patroclus held Achilles to his chest as he pounded up into his lover, hips making quiet slapping sounds as their bodies collided.

"Patroclus, please...I'm not going to-" Achilles sat up suddenly, slipping from his hold in Patroclus' arms.

He placed his arms behind himself, blunt nails digging into the skin of Patroclus' thighs.

"This," Achilles said, squeezing Patroclus' thigh for emphasis. "This is what I wanted. To watch as I used your body. To, Gods, to use you until I have reached my own release." Achilles lifted himself up until only the tip of Patroclus remained inside him and slammed back down, knocking the breath from both of their bodies.

Their bodies moved like the ocean, the tides flowing between them. Patroclus felt as though the Gods were watching, yet he could not bring himself to care. His entire body felt submerged in the pleasure.

"Achilles, I cannot...I do not think I shall last much longer." Patroclus was hurtling towards the edge just as he opened his eyes and saw Achilles watching him in rapture.

"You look so beautiful like this." Achilles threw his head back before settling into a clumsy rocking pace, feeling Patroclus rubbing right against the spot that made him see constellations.

Achilles came with his back arched and hoarse moans coming from his mouth. His body glistened with sweat and reddened marks dotted across his chest from where Patroclus could not help but sink his teeth.

Patroclus was gone after one final thrust and a scrunched faced groan. He felt fingers tickling his face and lips against his neck seconds later.

"I love you, Patroclus." Achilles curled himself around Patroclus' back, sucking a mark into the his neck before drifting off to sleep.

Patroclus closed his eyes and dreamt of blood flowing from the head of a boy with blond hair and milky skin.

* * *

Even in death Patroclus thought of blue eyes and slender fingers that held him at night.

Even in death he loved Achilles.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading i know this is kinda shit but bear with me please im a child


End file.
